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[title] => Ivica Ivanišević: Sjećate li se kako su nas nervirali turisti s djecom? Eh, što bi Splićani sada dali za takve goste...
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Sjećate li se koliko su nas nervirali turisti s djecom? Nekoć se od njih nisi mogao obraniti, gospodarili su plažama, restoranskim štekatima, pjacetama i kaletama. Brižne mame trčkarale su između šugamana i s kašicama u ruci pokušavale sustići svoje zaigrane mališane, dozivajući ih iritirajućim povicima na stranim jezicima.
Nisi mogao na miru pojesti svoj preskupi obrok od balavurdije koja se natjerivala između stolova, praćena ponosnim pogledima svojih roditelja, oduševljenih što su im djeca u odličnoj kondiciji i ne prestaju terorizirati goste restorana već cijeli sat ili dva. Te minijaturne kamikaze kojima je najdraže uporno sijevati i zujati lijevo-desno, upropaštavale su nam i opuštene večernje šetnje gradskim ulicama i trgovima.
Turiste s djecom nismo prezirali samo mi, obični građani. Još i više su išli na jetra ugostiteljima. Klinci su, kao što znamo, u pravilu loše mušterije, apetiti im nisu samo skromni, nego i ćudljivi, pa moraš pustiti dušu dok nešto konačno ne izaberu, a onda se opredijele za neko jeftino jelo.
Nadalje, djeca ne piju, sedmogodišnjak neće pozvati rundu za cijelo društvo. Da zlo bude još i veće, njihovo trezvenjaštvo inhibira i roditelje. Odgovorna majka i otac neće naliti čuturu pred publikom sastavljenom od kćeri i sina. Uz večeru će popiti tek čašu ili dvije vina, a onda se povući u sobu.
U tim dugim, sumornim i mršavim godinama obiteljskog zuluma, maštali smo o drukčijim gostima koji su bolji potrošači. A nema boljih od mlađarije. Ona stiže lijepo fudrana pinezima, jer prosječan roditelj nigdje na svijetu neće škrtariti na svojoj djeci.
Mladi su, zdravi, jedri i poletni, svi unutarnji organi, u rasponu od pluća preko želuca do jetara, još uvijek su im na tvorničkim postavkama. Od njihove gladi veća je samo njihova žeđ, a ništa ih ne sprječava da svoje žudnje namire, najmanje pravila lijepoga ponašanja ili društveni obziri. Koga briga za grintave domoroce, jednom si mlad – kontaju juvenilni gosti, pa nastavljaju ludovati pod našim prozorima.
Njima se, logično, najviše raduju ugostitelji koji im serviraju jela po opscenim cijenama i uredno ih tankaju alkoholom. Takve mušterije treba svijećom tražiti – mozgaju naši birtaši – jer klinci imaju para, žele pojesti i još više popiti, a dovoljno su mladi da ne kontaju, barem ne sasvim, razliku između delicija i spirina odnosno nektara i špirita.
Svi ostali takvim se gostima raduju malo manje, zapravo puno. Dapače, običan svijet rado bi stavio brklju pred ulaz u grad i do centra propuštao samo ljude srednjih godina ili još starije. Okej, takvi možda jesu suzdržanije mušterije, manje piju, ali manje i povraćaju, sasvim rijetko se uneređuju i neusporedivo više drže do nekog elementarnog bontona.
Eh, kako bi to bilo lijepo da su nam gosti odrasle dame i gospoda, najbolje s djecom – s čežnjom zaključuju nevoljni Splićani siti mladalačkog terora.
I tko zna, možda će nam se želja opet ispuniti. Možda ćemo klincima uskoro dodijati, a iznova će nas otkriti mlade mame i tate s mališanima koji neumorno sijevaju, zuje i deru se iz petnih žila. Tada će se sve promijeniti.
Ustvari, gotovo sve, jer mi, domoroci, ostat ćemo isti, jednako grintavi kao što smo uvijek i bili, duboko uvjereni da k nama stižu najgori mogući turisti.
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Maštali smo o drukčijim gostima koji su bolji potrošači. A nema boljih od mlađarije...
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Sjećate li se koliko su nas nervirali turisti s djecom? Nekoć se od njih nisi mogao obraniti, gospodarili su plažama, restoranskim štekatima, pjacetama i kaletama. Brižne mame trčkarale su između šugamana i s kašicama u ruci pokušavale sustići svoje zaigrane mališane, dozivajući ih iritirajućim povicima na stranim jezicima.
Nisi mogao na miru pojesti svoj preskupi obrok od balavurdije koja se natjerivala između stolova, praćena ponosnim pogledima svojih roditelja, oduševljenih što su im djeca u odličnoj kondiciji i ne prestaju terorizirati goste restorana već cijeli sat ili dva. Te minijaturne kamikaze kojima je najdraže uporno sijevati i zujati lijevo-desno, upropaštavale su nam i opuštene večernje šetnje gradskim ulicama i trgovima.
Turiste s djecom nismo prezirali samo mi, obični građani. Još i više su išli na jetra ugostiteljima. Klinci su, kao što znamo, u pravilu loše mušterije, apetiti im nisu samo skromni, nego i ćudljivi, pa moraš pustiti dušu dok nešto konačno ne izaberu, a onda se opredijele za neko jeftino jelo.
Nadalje, djeca ne piju, sedmogodišnjak neće pozvati rundu za cijelo društvo. Da zlo bude još i veće, njihovo trezvenjaštvo inhibira i roditelje. Odgovorna majka i otac neće naliti čuturu pred publikom sastavljenom od kćeri i sina. Uz večeru će popiti tek čašu ili dvije vina, a onda se povući u sobu.
U tim dugim, sumornim i mršavim godinama obiteljskog zuluma, maštali smo o drukčijim gostima koji su bolji potrošači. A nema boljih od mlađarije. Ona stiže lijepo fudrana pinezima, jer prosječan roditelj nigdje na svijetu neće škrtariti na svojoj djeci.
Mladi su, zdravi, jedri i poletni, svi unutarnji organi, u rasponu od pluća preko želuca do jetara, još uvijek su im na tvorničkim postavkama. Od njihove gladi veća je samo njihova žeđ, a ništa ih ne sprječava da svoje žudnje namire, najmanje pravila lijepoga ponašanja ili društveni obziri. Koga briga za grintave domoroce, jednom si mlad – kontaju juvenilni gosti, pa nastavljaju ludovati pod našim prozorima.
Njima se, logično, najviše raduju ugostitelji koji im serviraju jela po opscenim cijenama i uredno ih tankaju alkoholom. Takve mušterije treba svijećom tražiti – mozgaju naši birtaši – jer klinci imaju para, žele pojesti i još više popiti, a dovoljno su mladi da ne kontaju, barem ne sasvim, razliku između delicija i spirina odnosno nektara i špirita.
Svi ostali takvim se gostima raduju malo manje, zapravo puno. Dapače, običan svijet rado bi stavio brklju pred ulaz u grad i do centra propuštao samo ljude srednjih godina ili još starije. Okej, takvi možda jesu suzdržanije mušterije, manje piju, ali manje i povraćaju, sasvim rijetko se uneređuju i neusporedivo više drže do nekog elementarnog bontona.
Eh, kako bi to bilo lijepo da su nam gosti odrasle dame i gospoda, najbolje s djecom – s čežnjom zaključuju nevoljni Splićani siti mladalačkog terora.
I tko zna, možda će nam se želja opet ispuniti. Možda ćemo klincima uskoro dodijati, a iznova će nas otkriti mlade mame i tate s mališanima koji neumorno sijevaju, zuje i deru se iz petnih žila. Tada će se sve promijeniti.
Ustvari, gotovo sve, jer mi, domoroci, ostat ćemo isti, jednako grintavi kao što smo uvijek i bili, duboko uvjereni da k nama stižu najgori mogući turisti.
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14. svibanj 2024 23:41
