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Od proljeća počeli su kazini s gužvama u prometu, sneak-peak ljetnih mjeseci. I došlo je ljeto, a s njim i, što bi rekao Mujo iz vica, milijuni hiljada vozača taksija. Svi voze. Prestalo se kukati kako nema konobara i čistačica, jer i oni koji su ih tražili za kafiće i restorane uhvatili su se volana i ostavili se ćorava posla. Karikiram, ali ne previše. U Dubrovniku je nastupila ona ‘ima posla tko hoće radit’. Pardon, vozit’. Zato nema više tko vodu nosit’.

Ima tome preko desetljeća, nezgodna situacija, dva i pol po ponoća, zovem taksi. Čeka me na Buži. Vidi me onako zaobljenu i izlazi iz auta, trči prema meni, hvata pod ruku i stavlja me na zadnji sic. Rekoh hvala, niste trebali. Kako to mislite nisam?! Da nisam bila u jadima, bila bih oduševljena rečenicom, ali znate kako je, dva kratka jedan dugi izdah, pa opet, nije bio momenat za bilo što osim da mu rečem ‘brate nagazi, bijeli su ti kožni sicevi!’

Neki dan popodne, vozi me dečko, ne progovara. Rečem na Pile, on gleda u telefon, majke mi ako nije kliknuo google prevoditelj, pa u retrovizor, pa u mene, grašci znoja niz čelo, nervoza, para mi se da veze nema gdje je i gdje treba ići. Objasnim mu jer nema druge, mašem rukama, nemam živaca čekat do Pila, iskočim u kanjonu pa on neka kisi dok na Pilama svi pješaci ovog svijeta ne prijeđu zebru. Naplatit je znao, tu se nije zbunio. Zbunilo je mene auto, ‘nako godišta kao moje, američki punoljetan.

Nakon nekoliko dana odvažim se sjesti u auto i oko 4 upadnem u jade. Nisam ni izašla s Bulevara nego ga na prvoj prilici preparkirala oko 5 i 45 i vratila se doma. Kako je moguće da je uopće ovoliko auta na gradskim prometnicama? Jesmo zađerali, svaka kuća ima po tri auta, ali plus i minus, nije dovoljno za baš ovakav kazin. Taksi. Plavi, žuti, ovakvi onakvi, uber štojaznam... U koloni od sto auta devedeset je taksija i nas par entuzijasta.

Da me krivo ne shvatite, mada hoćete jer i vi vjerojatno vozite taksi nakon posla, nemam ništa protiv, nek ljudi zarade. Kako je naš Ahmet istražio, na*ebaše ovi što plate novo auto, licencu, dozvolu i uredno plaćaju PDV, a ovaj majstor agregator iz godine u godinu, kad dođe vrijeme za račune ugasi firmu, pa opet. U međuvremenu, grad stoji. Moramo li čekati da se nekome nešto dogodi, da netko umre na putu zbog zastoja? Koga ćemo onda zadavit’? Izletjeti na put k’o Bruce Willis s povikom Yipee-Ki-Yay mother*ucker i izvadimo osigurač?

Bit ću osam tisuća i prva vozačica taksija, a na kraju sezone imat ću i za popravit moju japansku ljepoticu, da me služi još najmanje 20 godina. Jer ovako pišući, mogu je jedino odvest niz Orsulu, ako ne zapnem na kapelici...

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Od proljeća počeli su kazini s gužvama u prometu, sneak-peak ljetnih mjeseci. I došlo je ljeto, a s njim i, što bi rekao Mujo iz vica, milijuni hiljada vozača taksija. Svi voze. Prestalo se kukati kako nema konobara i čistačica, jer i oni koji su ih tražili za kafiće i restorane uhvatili su se volana i ostavili se ćorava posla. Karikiram, ali ne previše. U Dubrovniku je nastupila ona ‘ima posla tko hoće radit’. Pardon, vozit’. Zato nema više tko vodu nosit’.

Ima tome preko desetljeća, nezgodna situacija, dva i pol po ponoća, zovem taksi. Čeka me na Buži. Vidi me onako zaobljenu i izlazi iz auta, trči prema meni, hvata pod ruku i stavlja me na zadnji sic. Rekoh hvala, niste trebali. Kako to mislite nisam?! Da nisam bila u jadima, bila bih oduševljena rečenicom, ali znate kako je, dva kratka jedan dugi izdah, pa opet, nije bio momenat za bilo što osim da mu rečem ‘brate nagazi, bijeli su ti kožni sicevi!’

Neki dan popodne, vozi me dečko, ne progovara. Rečem na Pile, on gleda u telefon, majke mi ako nije kliknuo google prevoditelj, pa u retrovizor, pa u mene, grašci znoja niz čelo, nervoza, para mi se da veze nema gdje je i gdje treba ići. Objasnim mu jer nema druge, mašem rukama, nemam živaca čekat do Pila, iskočim u kanjonu pa on neka kisi dok na Pilama svi pješaci ovog svijeta ne prijeđu zebru. Naplatit je znao, tu se nije zbunio. Zbunilo je mene auto, ‘nako godišta kao moje, američki punoljetan.

Nakon nekoliko dana odvažim se sjesti u auto i oko 4 upadnem u jade. Nisam ni izašla s Bulevara nego ga na prvoj prilici preparkirala oko 5 i 45 i vratila se doma. Kako je moguće da je uopće ovoliko auta na gradskim prometnicama? Jesmo zađerali, svaka kuća ima po tri auta, ali plus i minus, nije dovoljno za baš ovakav kazin. Taksi. Plavi, žuti, ovakvi onakvi, uber štojaznam... U koloni od sto auta devedeset je taksija i nas par entuzijasta.

Da me krivo ne shvatite, mada hoćete jer i vi vjerojatno vozite taksi nakon posla, nemam ništa protiv, nek ljudi zarade. Kako je naš Ahmet istražio, na*ebaše ovi što plate novo auto, licencu, dozvolu i uredno plaćaju PDV, a ovaj majstor agregator iz godine u godinu, kad dođe vrijeme za račune ugasi firmu, pa opet. U međuvremenu, grad stoji. Moramo li čekati da se nekome nešto dogodi, da netko umre na putu zbog zastoja? Koga ćemo onda zadavit’? Izletjeti na put k’o Bruce Willis s povikom Yipee-Ki-Yay mother*ucker i izvadimo osigurač?

Bit ću osam tisuća i prva vozačica taksija, a na kraju sezone imat ću i za popravit moju japansku ljepoticu, da me služi još najmanje 20 godina. Jer ovako pišući, mogu je jedino odvest niz Orsulu, ako ne zapnem na kapelici...

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DubrovnikFOKUS

Vozi, Miško: Što bi rekao Mujo iz vica, milijuni hiljada vozača taksija!

Piše Lorita Vierda
28. lipnja 2023. - 21:29
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.Tonći Plazibat/cropix/

Od proljeća počeli su kazini s gužvama u prometu, sneak-peak ljetnih mjeseci. I došlo je ljeto, a s njim i, što bi rekao Mujo iz vica, milijuni hiljada vozača taksija. Svi voze. Prestalo se kukati kako nema konobara i čistačica, jer i oni koji su ih tražili za kafiće i restorane uhvatili su se volana i ostavili se ćorava posla. Karikiram, ali ne previše. U Dubrovniku je nastupila ona ‘ima posla tko hoće radit’. Pardon, vozit’. Zato nema više tko vodu nosit’.

Ima tome preko desetljeća, nezgodna situacija, dva i pol po ponoća, zovem taksi. Čeka me na Buži. Vidi me onako zaobljenu i izlazi iz auta, trči prema meni, hvata pod ruku i stavlja me na zadnji sic. Rekoh hvala, niste trebali. Kako to mislite nisam?! Da nisam bila u jadima, bila bih oduševljena rečenicom, ali znate kako je, dva kratka jedan dugi izdah, pa opet, nije bio momenat za bilo što osim da mu rečem ‘brate nagazi, bijeli su ti kožni sicevi!’

Neki dan popodne, vozi me dečko, ne progovara. Rečem na Pile, on gleda u telefon, majke mi ako nije kliknuo google prevoditelj, pa u retrovizor, pa u mene, grašci znoja niz čelo, nervoza, para mi se da veze nema gdje je i gdje treba ići. Objasnim mu jer nema druge, mašem rukama, nemam živaca čekat do Pila, iskočim u kanjonu pa on neka kisi dok na Pilama svi pješaci ovog svijeta ne prijeđu zebru. Naplatit je znao, tu se nije zbunio. Zbunilo je mene auto, ‘nako godišta kao moje, američki punoljetan.

Nakon nekoliko dana odvažim se sjesti u auto i oko 4 upadnem u jade. Nisam ni izašla s Bulevara nego ga na prvoj prilici preparkirala oko 5 i 45 i vratila se doma. Kako je moguće da je uopće ovoliko auta na gradskim prometnicama? Jesmo zađerali, svaka kuća ima po tri auta, ali plus i minus, nije dovoljno za baš ovakav kazin. Taksi. Plavi, žuti, ovakvi onakvi, uber štojaznam... U koloni od sto auta devedeset je taksija i nas par entuzijasta.

Da me krivo ne shvatite, mada hoćete jer i vi vjerojatno vozite taksi nakon posla, nemam ništa protiv, nek ljudi zarade. Kako je naš Ahmet istražio, na*ebaše ovi što plate novo auto, licencu, dozvolu i uredno plaćaju PDV, a ovaj majstor agregator iz godine u godinu, kad dođe vrijeme za račune ugasi firmu, pa opet. U međuvremenu, grad stoji. Moramo li čekati da se nekome nešto dogodi, da netko umre na putu zbog zastoja? Koga ćemo onda zadavit’? Izletjeti na put k’o Bruce Willis s povikom Yipee-Ki-Yay mother*ucker i izvadimo osigurač?

Bit ću osam tisuća i prva vozačica taksija, a na kraju sezone imat ću i za popravit moju japansku ljepoticu, da me služi još najmanje 20 godina. Jer ovako pišući, mogu je jedino odvest niz Orsulu, ako ne zapnem na kapelici...

#FOKUS
10. svibanj 2024 19:16