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[title] => Svi kukaju da fali parkinga u centru, a stigao je Slovenac i jednim potezom nam pokazao koliko smo nepraktični. Evo gdje je alpski junak metnuo svoju jurilicu
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- Dobar dan, znate li kako mogu doći do Morpurgove poljane? - upitao je rumeni Slovenac gospođu na dnu Marmontove.
- Ma to van je odma tu desno, kroz ovi prolaz. Maksimalno sedam sekundi vožnje - uljudno je odgovorila žena.
- Hvala - kimnuo je motorist, spustio vizir i udario po gasu.
Zaobišavši raspjevanu skupinu Talijana i poskočivši preko usnulog Škota, zalomio je u volat od Karamana. Pritom je, uz škripu guma, malo proklizao. Naime, pod je bio mokar - radnici Čistoće su opet bili vrijedni.
Gume jurilice su prošle preko lokve i poprskale staklo na koje je zaljepljen plakat s najavom Split film festivala, pritom zanijevši motor u desnu stranu, uslijed čega su bisage gotovo okrznule izlog od O‘hara‘s Irish Puba. Srećom, unutra nije bilo gostiju; posljednji je nedavno izbačen. Bio je to neki pijani Škot.
Stigavši na odredište, alpski junak je spustio vizir i osvrnuo se, tražeći konačnu adresu svoj maratonskog putovanja. Ugledao ju je s lijeve strane svog limenog čupača betona, divno optimiziranog i za antičke ploče. Sišao je s motora, skinuo kacigu i okrenuo broj na mobitelu.
- Dobra večer, apartman Room for two in the middle of the city centre? - upitao je na savšenom hrvatskom i sjajnom engleskom.
- Da - odgovorio je vlasnik apartmana Room for two in the middle of the city centre.
- Evo ja stigao. Parkirao sam ispred vašeg ulaza - veselo će praunuk poznatog koruškog jodlera.
- Kako mislite parkirali ispred našeg ulaza - pitao je apartmanlija.
- Pa tu, odmah kraj bankomata. U stvari, mogu odmah podignuti novce da vam platim - predložio je praktični Slovenac.
- Ne treba. Nađite drugi smještaj - nakon par sekundi stanke je ozbiljnim tonom poručio Splićanin.
- Molim? Drugi smještaj? Zašto? - našao se zbunjen ovaj umalo platiša.
- Zato šta ste, gospodine, jedan običan kreten - poručio je ovaj umalo iznajmljivač.
...
Naravno, ništa od ovoga se nije stvarno desilo. Štoviše, čitava ova situacija je potpuno apsurdna. Dakako, apsolutno je nemoguće zamisliti da bi ijedan vlasnik apartmana odbio uzesti pare od turista samo zato što je ovaj obični kreten.
Vjerojatno nikad nećemo doznati što je ovaj Slovenac radio na Morpurgovoj poljani. No, jedno je sigurno - jodlao nije. Jer, da jest, sigurno bi bio uhićen.
Naime, dobar jodl se baca par kilometara u dalj. Taman otprilike koliko treba do stigne do najbližih policajaca.
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- Dobar dan, znate li kako mogu doći do Morpurgove poljane? - upitao je rumeni Slovenac gospođu na dnu Marmontove.
- Ma to van je odma tu desno, kroz ovi prolaz. Maksimalno sedam sekundi vožnje - uljudno je odgovorila žena.
- Hvala - kimnuo je motorist, spustio vizir i udario po gasu.
Zaobišavši raspjevanu skupinu Talijana i poskočivši preko usnulog Škota, zalomio je u volat od Karamana. Pritom je, uz škripu guma, malo proklizao. Naime, pod je bio mokar - radnici Čistoće su opet bili vrijedni.
Gume jurilice su prošle preko lokve i poprskale staklo na koje je zaljepljen plakat s najavom Split film festivala, pritom zanijevši motor u desnu stranu, uslijed čega su bisage gotovo okrznule izlog od O‘hara‘s Irish Puba. Srećom, unutra nije bilo gostiju; posljednji je nedavno izbačen. Bio je to neki pijani Škot.
Stigavši na odredište, alpski junak je spustio vizir i osvrnuo se, tražeći konačnu adresu svoj maratonskog putovanja. Ugledao ju je s lijeve strane svog limenog čupača betona, divno optimiziranog i za antičke ploče. Sišao je s motora, skinuo kacigu i okrenuo broj na mobitelu.
- Dobra večer, apartman Room for two in the middle of the city centre? - upitao je na savšenom hrvatskom i sjajnom engleskom.
- Da - odgovorio je vlasnik apartmana Room for two in the middle of the city centre.
- Evo ja stigao. Parkirao sam ispred vašeg ulaza - veselo će praunuk poznatog koruškog jodlera.
- Kako mislite parkirali ispred našeg ulaza - pitao je apartmanlija.
- Pa tu, odmah kraj bankomata. U stvari, mogu odmah podignuti novce da vam platim - predložio je praktični Slovenac.
- Ne treba. Nađite drugi smještaj - nakon par sekundi stanke je ozbiljnim tonom poručio Splićanin.
- Molim? Drugi smještaj? Zašto? - našao se zbunjen ovaj umalo platiša.
- Zato šta ste, gospodine, jedan običan kreten - poručio je ovaj umalo iznajmljivač.
...
Naravno, ništa od ovoga se nije stvarno desilo. Štoviše, čitava ova situacija je potpuno apsurdna. Dakako, apsolutno je nemoguće zamisliti da bi ijedan vlasnik apartmana odbio uzesti pare od turista samo zato što je ovaj obični kreten.
Vjerojatno nikad nećemo doznati što je ovaj Slovenac radio na Morpurgovoj poljani. No, jedno je sigurno - jodlao nije. Jer, da jest, sigurno bi bio uhićen.
Naime, dobar jodl se baca par kilometara u dalj. Taman otprilike koliko treba do stigne do najbližih policajaca.
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17. svibanj 2024 15:45
